2013 brought The Kandinsky Effect to many places.
In those travels, we played music, made friends, lost luggage, ate awesome food, had terrible coffee, and started compiling the “tour glossary.”
What is the tour glossary?
When you travel a ton with a group of musicians, you start creating names for scenarios that seem to happen over and over again. Much like an internet meme…. certain actions become jokes, and then become repeating themes throughout a tour. Here are a few of those words or moments, and example context.
Overshare
This one nearly describes itself.
When you are talking to someone, and you say something that provides way too much information, that is an “overshare.” Now imagine the things that might accidentally get mentioned when traveling in a foreign country, and not knowing that the person next to you probably speaks better English than you do…. That’s good old fashioned awkward.
Lotus
This is an action that one can perform to absolutely piss off another band member. Here is the process:
1. Bunch your hand into a fist, and place it within 3-4 inches of another band members face, preferably within their peripheral vision.
2. Open your hand and extend all your fingers as far as possible.
3. Say the word “Lotusssssssss”
This usually results in Gael using the phrase “don’t touch me, don’t EVER touch me.”
Performing the lotus on the person that is driving is particularly risky, and a clear indication of your ability for living life without fear of danger.
Swoop
This is a term that get’s used several times a day. “Swooping” is the process when you somehow sneak your way into a more favorable position than another band member. For example, if you are riding in the backseat of a car and the person in the front seat exits the car, you swoop the front seat by simply getting out and taking their seat. Once seated, you take their belongings and throw them into the back seat.
Other examples of swooping:
1. When sharing a hotel room, you immediately take over the bathroom, leaving your other band members to wait for showers, toilets, etc
2. A band member orders a beer. You take it and drink it before they even take a sip.
Swoop-King
The band member who performs the most swoops in a given day.
Flexing
This is actually a game that was brought back to life after being performed in a previous band, but still provides a decent amount of road entertainment. It’s a game that you play while driving. Basically, you drive next to someone, and then flex your bicep at them. The severity of their response is basically how your points are judged. Whenever you can get a trucker to flex back at you… you’ve basically won.
Business Classing
When riding shotgun, push your chair all the way back and lean it as flat as it will go. Try and get the chair to go completely flat, just like a business class seat on a major airline. Extra points if you do the movement super fast, and there is another band member riding in the seat right behind you. Extra Extra points if this causes them to spill a beverage in their lap. Extra Extra Extra Extra points if that beverage is really hot.
The Kan”drink”sky Effect
This is how we describe having a hangover.
The Kan”clear-out-the-room”sky Effect
When you play a gig and nobody shows up. Bonus points if it’s a restaurant gig, and the room starts full and is empty before the set ends (usually followed up by a Kan”drink”sky Effect the next day.
————————
I’m sure we’ll add to this list soon, but I thought this might be a funny bit of information to put in a blog to finish up the year.
